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Anyone who believes in me may come and drink!  For the Scriptures declare, "Rivers of living water will flow from his heart."

                                                                          (John 7:38)

 

 

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
      "Sixteen," the boy responded.  His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
       "How do you know that?"
        "Easy," the little boy said.
        "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 
                        4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

====
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,

"Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."


^^^^
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service,

"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."


+++++
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.

 She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"

~~~~~~~
MOSES AND THE RED SEA :

  Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When He got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'

  'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked.

  'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did,  you'd never believe it!'

******
   When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,  'And all girls.' As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
  'Kelli, Why do you always add the part about all girls?'

  Her response, 'Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

........

Mrs. Goodnest

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't 
notice her. She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it
would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following 
behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as  she seemed to do every day all week. Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is." 

The friend said, "Well, who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest," Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcy."

"Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us? " 

"Well," Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm
with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it
says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', 
so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!" 

May Shirley Goodnest and Marcy be with you today and always.

==============
Posted with Kristi's approval and endorsement (she is a blonde).....she laughed as much as I did!::

So, How Blonde Was She??? 
She was Soooooooo Blonde that:
 
* She thought a quarterback was a refund. 
* She thought General Motors was in the army. 
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. 
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. 
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it. 
* She tripped over a cordless phone. 
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." 
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." 
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. 
* She studied for a blood test. 
* She sold the car for gas money. 
* When she missed bus #4 she took bus #2 twice instead. 
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," 
she turned around and went home. 
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. 
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. 
She thinks Taco Bell is the MEXICAN PHONE COMPANY. 
  
+++++
Hunting season is just about over in Montana.
So, 2 hunters were out in the woods and discovered that they were lost.   So the one hunter suggested that his partner shoot 3 shots into the air, the standard distress and "call for help" signal.    They waited awhile, then fired 3 more shots into the air.    They repeatedly tried this approach to getting help but nobody responded to their signals.    Finally,  the one hunter declared, now we're really in trouble.   "Lost, and I'm out of arrows."

===
There were three finalists for a position at the CIA, two men and one woman.  They were nervously awaiting their final testing when the CIA director came into the room to give the instructions.  He said, "I am sorry to have to inform you, but as a final test of your loyalty we are going to ask you to step into the next room.  There you will find your spouse tied to a chair and we are going to ask you to end their life." 
One of the men went in first and came out almost immediately, tears streaming down his face.  He said, "I just can't do it, I just can't.  I love her too much." 
The second man went into the room and after 10 minutes came out, distressed as well.  He could not complete the task either. 
Finally the woman went in.  Immediately shots rang out one after the other followed by sounds of scuffling and banging.  After a little while the door flew open.  The woman was panting, hair disheveled and looked like she had been in a major fight.  After being questioned about what happened, she announced, "Some idiot put blanks in the gun so I had to kill him with a chair!!!!"
 
===

The Pasta Diet and Your Health:
Italian Pasta Diet-----It REALLY works!

1.  You walka pasta da bakery....
2.  You walka pasta da candy store....
3.  You walka pasta da ice cream shop....
4.  You walka pasta da table and fridge....

You will lose weight!

AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health:  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting, nutritional studies........
1.  The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2.  The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3.  The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4.  The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5.  The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSIONS:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, “It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'" (This one is my favorite.)


=======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.


========

"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, its morning."


========

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.

Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."


========

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new gym - fellowship hall building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."


========

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."


========

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"

A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.

"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.

"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "


========

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."


========

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.


========

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."


========

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! 
-------

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

Can you read this?

Mostly Olny srmat poelpe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd  waht I was  rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a  rscheearch at Cmabrigde  Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the  olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht  the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

 
Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

<><>>>><<< 

A small child came home from Sunday school and told his mother:  "The teacher told us how God made the first man and the first woman.  He made man first, but the man was very lonely with no one to talk to, so God put the man to sleep, and while he was asleep, God took out his brains and made a woman out of them."
+++
=-=-=-=-=-=-
Mother:  "Billy, what are you doing there in the pantry?"
Billy:  "Fighting temptation, Mom."
--
The trouble with opportunity is that it only knocks.  Temptation kicks the door in.

===
On a church bulletin board:  "Forbidden fruit has resulted in many a jam."

^^^^^^^
Consider the whale.  Whenever he spouts off, he takes the chance of being harpooned.
^^^^^

A man appears before   St. Peter at the pearly gates. 
"Have you ever done anything of   particular merit?" St. Peter asks. 
"Well, I can think of one thing,"  the man offers. "Once, on a trip to 
the Black Hills, out in South Dakota,   I came upon a gang of 
high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a   young woman. 
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't   listen.  So I 
approached the largest and most heavily tattooed   biker.  I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out   his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone   now or you'll answer to me.'" 

St. Peter was impressed. "When did   this happen?" 

"Just a couple minutes ago..."

+++++

Here's one that starts like a joke.....but see if you're still laughing at the end.......
"The Drug Problem in America"

      The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?''  I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug! to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed. Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

   ~author unknown~

=====
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin , Texas ...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few  times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

===

In the window of a small store in Gettysburg, PA, was a sign with these words, "If you can't stop in, smile as you go by." It takes 73 muscles to frown--14 to smile. No wonder the grouchy people are always tired. It has been said if you laugh every day it is equal to 10 minutes of exercise.

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

 

Everything in life need not be perfect to be perfect.

 

-----

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
~Helen Keller~
-----
"When science finally peers over the crest of the mountain, it will find that God has been sitting there all along."

=====
"Parenting with authority is needed, but it must be
authority absorbed by grace and love."
~Rob Klepfer~


"It is diversity that makes our unity rich, and our unity that makes our diversity profound." 
"We would not and cannot exist without one another, and need the other to be
truly different from ourselves."
~~Mark Labberton~~


True sonship is always established in the wilderness.
~William Lane~
 

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that
an airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
~Henry Ford~

~~~~~~~~~

What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it!
 

@@@
 

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
 

::::::::::::::

Life is a great big canvas, throw all the paint on it you can
and let God guide the brush.
 

~~~~~
Life is about moments.
Don't wait for them....Create them!
 

.................
 

Can't sling mud at others without getting your own hands dirty.
 

=====
 

Forget all the reasons why it won't work and believe the one reason why it will.
 

------
 

Life is like a camera.  Just focus on what's important and capture the good.  Develop from the negatives. 
If out of focus, take another shot!
AND don't forget to crop out what doesn't add value.
 

==
 

It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
~Abraham Lincoln~
 


()()()()
 

When one door of happiness closes, another opens.  But we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
~~Helen Keller~~
 


*^^*^^*

Great teams arise out of Chaos.  (Zachary Diehl)
----
 

~One thing you can give and still keep is your word.~

~When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.~

 

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Don't let your worries get the best of you;  
remember, 
Moses started out as a basket case.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind,  polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God, 
But only as advisors.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, 
but mosquitoes come close.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end,  
you'll find God lives there.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny;  
they want the front of the bus, 
the middle of the road, 
and the back of the church.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, 

but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church;  
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If the church wants a better pastor, 
it only needs to pray for the one it has.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead.  
So why should you?

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up 
and permanently set.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people
change churches;  
what difference does it make 
which one you stay home from?!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

A lot of church members who are singing 
"Standing on the Promises" 
are just sitting on the premises.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We were called to be witnesses, 
not lawyers or judges.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men.  
You catch them - 
He'll clean them.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God 
chooses to remain anonymous.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark 
where God put a period.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men 
to take you to church.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits 
create many jams.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified, 
He qualifies the called.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, 
not the curve.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone, 
but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" 
over "religious nuts!"

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing, 
not a calm passage.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you, 
controls you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot, 
swap seats!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer:
Don't give God instructions 
just report for duty!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us 
is never as Great 
as the Power behind us.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God 
never takes you to where 
the Grace of God 
will not protect you.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message, 
the message changes us.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
 You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to
discourage him.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation 
I have ever seen:
1 cross 

3 nails

4 given.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

"Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the brain cells they occupied."

"The empires of the future will be the empires of the imagination."
(Winston Churchill)

"God does not communicate things to us so much as He just is Himself in us.  We are the vessels, the containers, so that the first work after the new birth is to cultivate the habit of receptivity."
(Norman Grubb)

"A saint is a creature of vast possibilities, knit into shape by the ruling personality of God."
(Oswald Chambers)

"People want the front seat of the car, the back seat at church, and the center of attention."
(Dallas Willard)

"Whenever you doubt God, ask God to help you doubt your doubt."  
(John Wesley)
---
"Any contradiction between our callings and our careers condemns us to be square pegs 
in round holes."      (Os Guinness)

"A little thing is a little thing, but faithfulness in a little thing is a big thing."  
Hudson Taylor

"You can get all A's and still flunk life."  
Walker Percy

"The problem with Western Christians is not that they aren't where they should be but that they aren't what they should be where they are."
Os Guinness

"The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become."
C.S. Lewis

"We are responsible because we are response-able."
Os Guinness

====

Church Signs:

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world! 

It is unlikely there'll ever be a reduction in the wages of sin. 

Forbidden fruit creates many jams. 

Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here.

Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one. 

People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are. 

 

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On Balance
(Bobb Biehl)

Life is a constant struggle for balance. 
Balance is a result of one word…schedule.  
Typically you determine your own schedule. 
Therefore, you schedule your own balance/imbalance

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Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.  Also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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"The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him."
Oswald Chambers

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Quotes that Stoke . . .

These are quotes from people who have been on mission with and for God. They stoke Great Commission fire within me:

·       In the vast plain of the north I have sometimes seen, in the morning sun, the smoke of a thousand villages where no missionary has even been. –Robert Moffat

·       We talk of the second coming; half of the world has never heard of the first. –Oswald J. Smith

·       Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell, I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell. –C.T. Studd

·       I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light. –John Falconer

·       The command has been to “go,” but we have stayed—in body, gifts, prayer, and influence. –Robert Savage

·       You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. –Amy Carmichael

·       Let my heart be broken with the things that break God’s heart. –Bob Pierce

·       The mark of a great church is not its seating capacity, but its sending capacity. –Mike Stachura

·       Would that God would make hell so real to us that we cannot rest; heaven so real that we must have men there. –J. Hudson Taylor

·       “Not called!” did you say? “Not heard the call,” I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father’s house and bid their brothers and sisters not to come there. Then look Christ in the face—whose mercy you have professed to obey—and tell Him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish His mercy to the world. –William Booth

·       This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come. –Jesus

·       Here am I. Send me. –Isaiah

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A.W. Tozer:
“It is easy to learn the doctrine of personal revival and victorious living;  it is quite another thing to take our cross and plod on to the dark and bitter hill of self-renunciation.”  

“The cross would not be a cross to us if it destroyed in us only the unreal and the artificial.  It is when it goes on to slay the best in us that its cruel sharpness is felt.”

“We must do something about the cross, and one of two things only we can do----flee it or die upon it.” 

For still the vision awaits its appointed time......wait for it....... (Hab. 2:3)

 

 

Welcome

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you......"  ~Zeph. 3:17a~

 

     We hope that you are encourgaged as you browse these pages!   May you know that the Lord your God is with you,  the Mighty Warrior who saves.  In His love may He take great delight in you,  rejoicing over you with singing! 

 

                     Our Church Family----

                    

                                                                          Born in Cumberland, Maryland, Steve spent many years thinking he was a Christian.   Growing                                                                      up with regular attendance in a large mainline church in Illinois, he had a form of religion but                                                                                denied the power thereof.  He was among those spoken of in 2 Timothy  3:5,  “They will act                                                                                    religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly”  (NLT).  

                                                                          After being hired as a teacher at a Christian School, he came  to understand the need for                                                                              salvation through Jesus Christ alone.  Born again, God turned his head knowledge about Christ into                                                                    an intimate heart relationship with Him.       

                                                                          Kristi’s journey was a parallel track (she grew up on a dairy farm in Iowa), and Steve and Kristi                                                                      were baptized together in a Montana lake.   They prayed for the fullness of the Holy Spirit at the altar together a few years later (in response to Eph. 5:18),  and have been serving our Lord together ever since.      

      Ordained to the ministry in 1996, Steve has been in ministry with the C&MA for 25 years.  He recently finished a Doctor of Ministry Degree in the area of coaching.  Steve has worked as a summer camp staff member, logger, salesman, research assistant, ranch hand, firefighter, factory worker, soldier USMC veteran), security guard, furniture delivery man,  teacher, special education aid, administrator, missionary associate on the field, pastor, dorm parent, adjunct faculty at Simpson University, and church planter.   He is currently serving as the lead pastor at the East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, WA.

      Kristi has been a teacher by profession and is currently working as a substitute teacher.   Steve and Kristi enjoy studying the Word of God, teaching, reading, spending time with family, playing guitar and leading worship, outdoor sports and activities, and artistic crafts.   Steve’s passions are in the areas of preaching, teaching & equipping people for ministry, discipleship coaching, evangelism, and writing.

 

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                                                                                    Steve's Testimony

 

           My earliest memory was waking up in the middle of the night, feeling very sick, and feeling very helpless, opening my eyes to see the concerned yet loving look on my father’s face.  I almost died of pneumonia that night, my parents tell me.

            I spent many years thinking I was a Christian, growing up primarily in a large Lutheran church.  I loved the outdoors when I was young, and that love grew throughout my life culminating in a desire to be a “mountain man” when I was in high school.  I also loved school, with the reading and writing involved.  That climaxed in 6th grade with my favorite teacher, Mr. Douglas, who was also an outdoorsman. It was also that year that I first felt that I’d like to be a pastor.  It wasn’t long, however, before that desire took backseat.

            In junior high I began getting involved with the boy scouts, and that became my life.  Church faded.  The outdoors scene became even more highlighted, yet God was working even in my distancing of myself from Him.  The times of community service made me feel good, and the times of helping younger scouts was fulfilling.  I remember being confirmed in the Lutheran church, but it didn’t impact me.   There was a youth retreat that I attended during that time, and that left a lasting impression on me, but I didn’t take the experience to heart.

            After High School, I joined the USMC and the pride that was built took the place of the need I had felt at times for God.   Except for one afternoon on the way to a scuba diving spot in a small boat.  A storm suddenly hit my diving partner and I, and swamped the boat.   My partner swam desperately for shore, while I clung to the turned over boat, hoping somebody would find me but knowing my partner would probably never make it to shore.  That time out in the ocean looped me back to the feeling of helplessness I had as a young child.  I was very afraid, not knowing for sure if God would welcome me to heaven.  Yet, even after being rescued by men  I was not ready to be rescued by God.

            After meeting Kristi and having our first son, God used the birth of Colter to open my eyes to the miracle of His hand.   During that time He also used the outdoors to remind me of his powerful creativity.    He used my first teaching job, in a Christian school (I thought I really was a Christian) to bring me fully to Himself.  After doing some Bible study of my own and studying for Bible and chapel lessons, as well as listening to Christian music at the prompting of my favorite coworker and friend, Carol Mielke, I came to a genuine converting faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

            Things began to change in me.  I began to love His word.  I began to love His people in a genuine way.  I grew in my love for worship and worship music.  After moving to a new teaching position and being exposed to the vision of the C&MA in the little local church there, Kristi and I both went forward to the altar one night to commit our lives publicly to Jesus Christ and dedicate ourselves to His service.  We have been serving ever since.

            The first significant person to teach me what service to God meant was Pastor Gayle Fleming.  He helped Kristi and I to start a youth program at church.  He encouraged me in leading worship, even though it terrified me.  Eventually, he and his wife helped us to prepare for the mission field, and during my first year overseas I sensed the clear and compelling call to pastoral ministry. 

            Since those days we have followed God's call to many places, and He has given us rich opportunities in service and enabled us to meet wonderful people with whom we will spend eternity.  We look forward to days ahead as we enjoy abundant life today.

Our Dream Team

A Bio and Testimony

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